I want a deep dark cave

So today....was a really hard day. If some of you don't know I finally gave up the last thing I was holding back from God from when I wasn't Christian. And that was that it's ok to be gay. I have such strong compassion for GLBT people, and I think it's wrong to harrass them or anything like that. But I do believe that it is a sin. The reason this is a big deal is cuz I was in the G.S.A. (Gay Straight Alliance) at my school. I wasn't just in it, I was going to be president. Everyone at school knew I was Christian and in the G.S.A. I was totally mis-representing Christ. So, now I've given it up. And that involved telling many of my friends and teachers, many who are gay, about my new beliefs. Not only do I have to tell them without crying but I want to see that I am not judging them, and that I still love them. Yesterday I told my old best friend....we've been best friends for six years, and when I became Christian she cried, and yesterday felt even worse. I thought I was done with all the emotional drama for at least one day, but the first G.S.A. meeting was today, so I had to tell a bunch of people. I seriously was shaking, and I felt sick to my stomach. I dunno, it's so cool how God has just transformed me, but this kind of intimacy with Him, where he just shakes me by my ankles, until all the bad stuff falls out...just scared the heck out of me. I dunno, I'm glad I have this youth group to fall back on. All yall really do keep me going when I'm low on Jesus fuel, today I just looked at all of the great pictures from Chile and camp in my locker, and gave myself a silent pep talk. lol (I'm a bit crazy) But I can't deny all the feelings I had to just take all of my feelings and hide in a cave, cuz it was really hard. And it's gonna get harder....I just keep thinking of that Heavenly reward ya know? Well this is too long, and I don't want to bore you all.....thanx for listening (or in this case, listening)