during school

Hey, meesh..or whoever might read this.
I'm having a really bad day at school so I decided to come in here (library) and write. But I don't even know what to do. It's like I know that things will get better, and work out. But it is so hard before they do. All I want to do is go get ready for college. I haven't even applied. Everyone keeps wondering why I haven't, and I just don't know when to get it all done. I have play, and snowball and just so many things going on. Oh and get this, the job that I don't want but everyone is pressuring me to get might be giving me orientation on Wednesday. How am I going to do so many things at once and work, I think my family only values hard work when it produces money, it's like I'm not as good as my siblings because I'm not working, in fact they all shove it in my face. I'm not good at doing so many things at once already. I can't wait until I know where I am going to college, and how I am paying for it. I really can't! I just want to fast forward through this hard part of everything. I'm sick of yelling and fighting and crying. I wish I could get away. I CAN'T WAIT until the NMC. I am going to be sooooo encouraged and excited by meeting so many people who are doing what I want to do. Today I walked to school crying cuz my brother left me, I keep feeling like I can't even explain to people how I feel, and then I feel all alone, it's all so dumb cuz I have God the father who understands everything. But as cheryl and I said before, sometimes we need some physical, tangible comfort. Well, time to go to another class. I love ya!